commencement 2011

i'll be there at 5:46 in the morning
that's how it was written
the original story
I got my part of the deal
I'm sorry I can't remember
If the ending was real
you're the reason I'm now sober
and I guess I'm the reason
our friendship is over
I'd like to be up in sieker
holding your camera
and blasting your speakers
I’ll play your old favorite songs
I’ll write how I love you
over scars on my arms
am I an awful reminder
of what you want to forget?
because I said I wouldn't let go
and I haven't yet
when you ran away
when I yelled your name
was it confirmation
that I am to blame?
I know that sommerville place,
It ended horribly for you
well karma made it
break me down too
but things were ok after there
I knew you still loved me
and you knew I still cared
I had to do what was best
I made mistakes
but I laid in my bed
are you putting me through
what you felt?
are you making sure
I never forget
that I took on the weight
of your world
and then dropped it on you
like an earth sized ball?
is this all because
you can’t be my friend
so you sprinting away
has to be the end?
is it obvious that I’m broken?
and you can’t listen to words
that were already spoken
so you’re choosing to let this hurt
and made it so
we don’t exchange words
while I pray to be rid of resentment
I pray that you can be too
and I want you to be happy
I guess that’s really all I can do
I won’t show up at graduation
I’ve made my point
In many bold statements
I guess you shaved your head
so I’d be out of your hair
but I miss where we lived
and I wish we were there
if we never speak again
know that all I wanted
was for you to be a man
that would always be proud
that did it on your own
with no one to thank
but your own brave soul
So I bowed out before it got beautiful
and went to fix myself
and while I’m still working hard on it
I hope you find someone else


© LL