callous

What made me so callous?
Whats made me so unkind?
What was the instance
that made me lose my mind?

When did I become
a woman without concern
for who begins to love me?
I'm just impossible to earn.

If I wish to be with someone
I demand to stand some ground.
Even if I can't make it
I'd gladly let me drowned.

I've treated grown men
Like they're all little boys
And collected them
for nothing else
but useless little toys

I've held my standards high
And my nose a little higher
And light my own cigarettes
Never accept a helping lighter

Yet I demand to be a princess
But won't ever throw a fit
If I don't get my way
I simply find the door and slip
Out back into a crowd
Where I throw a little bait
All to throw them back
As if I've already ate

Cause I can't accept the help
From anyone but myself
I put my independence
On a ridiculous shelf

I put on a show
I've acted as if I'd been hurt
But my sad story
Is just an excuse to be kurt

Truth is I never met
A man who made me feel
Like I'm just his best friend
Or like I can stay real

All of that heartlessness
Has come from the oppression
Of feeling like men
Would feed my own obsession

I've disregarded them
For my own mental health
If they agreed with my diet
They fed bulimic wealth

They've tried to make me feel
Like I could be myself
But maybe truth is
I want to be somebody else