i will not go

bring your bulimic daughter
on a cruise for christmas
and bring her beautiful body back
in a body bag.
merry christmas to all
she violently murmured
through the line at the buffet table.
i've been doing very well,
so says my head
because i've had some days without purging.
but the idea of cruise gluttony
and the sight of such ugliness
gives me the desire to go choke myself.
i don't want a gift except to be left alone
with my treadmill, a book
& the right heart rate zone.
i don't want to open presents
or even have dinner.
i want to spend time with my boyfriend
and to watch me get thinner.
a cruise is for couples
who can't get out of the room.
who love each other so much
they share a spoon.
when i'm with that man
i'm amazed at my recovery
and when i'm around my parents
i can barely stomach it.
get my drift, old man?
you make me clinically sick
please save your money
and don't be a dick.

© L

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