i admire the way some woman act
the way they hold their heads high
even when they're kind of fat
the smile on their face seems genuine and real
they wear what they want
and i doubt they ever feel
the endless sadness deep in the chest
that i'm not good enough
just because of my dress
the sizes and the numbers
that drive me clinically insane
the way i hate shopping
because i'm gravely vain
i stare at the jeans that are 1s and smaller
and when i try on my size
i feed my eating disorder
painful and pitiful
the seriousness of obsession
i will not rest
until i'm a 6 or better
© LL
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