When I was sitting on that windowsill
Wondering if I had the will to live
Life could have passed me by
I didn't even have the strength to cry
I cursed myself
and isolated
I hurt my body
and was devastated
I wrote my will
And shut out the world
A broken nose
and the freezing cold
The crashing sounds
I blacked out
And the police officer
And my futures doubts
Determined what my best move was;
To florida, so I packed my stuff
my dad got a truck
He told me it would be ok
I didn't want to live still
It was all too crazed
I never thought it could be me
arrested, ashamed and carelessly
I continued to hurt me
And struggled so much
I banged my head
And I longed for drugs
I'd become someone
I never was
And out of pure despair
I fell in love
With the wrong man
who made me worse
He fucked with my head
And I questioned my worth
I let myself lose all control
I never fixed myself
I was a broken girl
Till I made the choice
To let him go
And get back to me
And to help myself grow
So I went back to basics
And I separated
What was vital from
What before was just for fun
And as I started to see nothing was
My only option was to try self-love
And I became enamored with
The girl that I see
Every morning when I
Brush my teeth
And every new day I find more things
That make me smile
At that sink
Because even with flaws and all
I'm still a good hearted type of girl
And with willingness and hope
I'm growing up
I'm happy now
And found my place
In a temporary type of space
And with contentment
In whatever
Gods got planned
I'm always perched patiently
For another branch
Because life is flourishing
Before our eyes
And I'm willing to make it
And keep faith alive
even if i fake it
it grows into reality
because i keep my faith
with non-superficiality
© L
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