it's not that i'm not happy
but i'm surely closer to sad
i am making the best of it
but the best is fucking bad
i'm a bottom of the barrel
seed and stem type of girl
who doesn't have a dollar
and there's no one i can call
i will probably look back someday
and know that this made me strong
but for right now all i want to do
is listen to crappy emo songs
i miss my family,
my cousins up north
i'm down here alone
with my small self worth
i should look for more work
but i don't want to stay here at all
i'm planning all my speeches
for my exit from this world
it's a ridiculous reality
when i put a dollar to each bill
because of honest practicality
and my own free will
it got me where i am
which is no where one should be
without privacy or encouragement
just dead end spaces with bad lighting
i should work on what i've got
instead i just complain
because i once had it all
but it was all gained in vain
so with 100 purses in a box
and history books filled with bad luck
i'm saving pennies to rent a truck
and taking my shit back to New York
© LL
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