it was an automatic response
every single time
i felt myself slipping
it's like a blaring alarm
PUKE, it shouted
and i would heed it's advice
i'd stuff in whatever i could
like it would make it alright
the rules were strict
and the villain was me
i hated the entire thing
from end to next beginning
the food, the feeling, the purge and the people
who'd see me look a mess
and i'd hide, as if they couldn't see me
so with new moments ahead
like the one right here now
i'm allowing myself
to act gracefully instead of putting me down
i'm calmer
i'm cuter
i'm healthier and well
i don't ever want to step back
into that bulimia hell
so i swallow my food
with proper intent
to absorb nutrients from them
and then to expend
to be happy and whole
like a complete person
and i'm grateful God gave me
open ended purpose
© LL
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